| Now what are the joys of a single young man?Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
 And what is he doing whenever he can?
 Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
 You may think I'm wrong or you may think I'm right
 I'm not going to argue, I know you can fight
 But what do you think we are doing tonight?
 Why, boozing, bloody well boozing:
 Boozing, boozing, just you and I
 Boozing, boozing, when we are dry.
 Some do it openly, some on the sly
 But we all are bloody well boozing.
 
 And what are the joys of a poor married man?
 Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
 And what is he doing whenever he can?
 Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
 He comes home at night and he gives his wife all
 He goes out a-shopping, makes many a call
 But what brings him home hanging on to the wall?
 Why, boozing, bloody well boozing:
 
 And what does the Salvation Army run down?
 Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
 And what are they banning in every town?
 Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
 The stand on street corners, they rave and they shout
 They shout about things they know nothing about
 But what are they doing when the lights are turned out?
 Why, boozing, bloody well boozing:
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