I'm a poor married man and I'm near broken-hearted
My wife she's left me and she's gone away
Well, we had some misfortune, so she and I parted
I'll tell you what happened to her the other day.
Now, women are weak, they should mind their possessions
I think now with grief, mad me it will send
For she's gone away with some German Musicianer
Who goes about crying: Pianos to mend.
Fol-der-rol, fol-der-rol, fol-der-rol, laddie
All sorts of musical things he could play
There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle
And this to my wife the old German did say.
Well, it happened one day that this German Musicianer
He come through our streets crying, Pianos to mend
My wife's piano being out of condition
Straightway the wife for the old German did send.
Well, he knocked on the door and he said most politely
I think, ma'am, it's here that you're needing repairs
Please, ma'am, I've called to mend your piano
All right, said my wife, won't you please come upstairs.
Well, she took him upstairs and showed him her piano
At which the old German seemed greatly amused
And when he had seen it, he said to my Hannah
I think, ma'am, your music's not very much used.
Well, he touched it, he handled it, both over und under
Sharp as a needle, and light as a cork
With all sorts of tunes he pulled it asunder
And rattled away with his old tuning fork.
Fol-der-rol, fol-der-rol, fol-der-rol, laddie
All sorts of musical things he could play
There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle
And this to my wife the old German did say.
Well now, when I came home my wife told me the story
Said the old German had been there all day
He'd tried very hard to mend her piano
But do what she could he'd not take any pay.
Now I thought it was strange when she told me the story
Said the old German was ever so kind
But could you believe that this old German sausage
Before going away left his trade-mark behind?
Well, I swore and I tore at my darling wife Hannah
With grief and with rage I'm sure no one can tell
I told her to hop it and take her piano
And likewise to take the old German as well.
So come all young married men, don't you take too much spooning
For all women want is to handle your pelf
If ever your wife's piano needs tuning
Just take my advice, boys, and tune it yourself.
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