The story of OUR BILL is common as a folk tale on both sides of the Atlantic and is always, at least according to the raconteur, based on fact. This telling of the imaginative use of a concrete mixer is the work of Lancashire's Bernard Wrigley.

Our Bill has a concrete mixer
He were coming home last night
When down the street he saw his house
With a sports car parked outside.

Now he thought, Here's me going out to work
While my wife's at home on t' job
So he thought he'd get her lover boy
And smash him up his gob.

Then he thought, Now look here, Billy lad
Use what's under your crop
So he up with his concrete mixer
Fills the car right up to t' top.

Then he gets back in his cabin
Sits as quiet as a mouse
And he sees the bloke coming to his car
But he come from next door's house.

Our Bill starts up his engine,
He'd never felt such a prat
He were down the road and a mile away
In twenty seconds flat.

Ah, but if Bill had stayed a bit longer
He'd have seen his wife so sweet
Giving a kiss to her lover boy
As he cycled down the street.

So now his wife, she gets her oats,
And Billy feel a berk
For thinking his wife was having it off
While he was out at work.

© Golden Hind Music